Depends on the tone, whether it’s an accusation of your general being. You know how parents can say things in a way that seem innocuous, but are used as a way to control or denigrate in some small way. You couldn’t name it as a child, but as an adult you know exactly what it is, and is the reason why you limit your visits to only so many hours.
You still love them, they still love you. But it’s hard for them to shake off old behaviours.
I’m sincerely sorry that your relationship with your mother is so damaged. And I’m sorry that you’re stuck in petty tit for tat with her as a means to gain control. It sounds unhealthy and I hope it gets better for you.
Aside from that, using something so communal as dishes to demonstrate this social interaction is wild to me. Dishes need to be done every single day. To not do a communal chore like that because of spite in an otherwise healthy household is absolutely unhealthy and breeding resentment.
Out of respect, I don’t quite think you understand how close my mother and I are. Me calling her out on her control tactics and expressing my feelings in response to it isn’t the start of a petty war. She laughs and nods. I laugh and nod too.
It’s the start of self awareness in breaking a cycle, and she gets what I’m trying to do and respects it.
Often she forgets, because old habits die hard, but it’s getting better
No worries at all, my relationship with her is pretty good. I guess you have to know someone before you pass judgement on them.
I was giving an instance of one of the few negative behaviours of hers. She has overwhelmingly many positive ones.
Depends on the tone, whether it’s an accusation of your general being. You know how parents can say things in a way that seem innocuous, but are used as a way to control or denigrate in some small way. You couldn’t name it as a child, but as an adult you know exactly what it is, and is the reason why you limit your visits to only so many hours.
You still love them, they still love you. But it’s hard for them to shake off old behaviours.
I’m sincerely sorry that your relationship with your mother is so damaged. And I’m sorry that you’re stuck in petty tit for tat with her as a means to gain control. It sounds unhealthy and I hope it gets better for you.
Aside from that, using something so communal as dishes to demonstrate this social interaction is wild to me. Dishes need to be done every single day. To not do a communal chore like that because of spite in an otherwise healthy household is absolutely unhealthy and breeding resentment.
Out of respect, I don’t quite think you understand how close my mother and I are. Me calling her out on her control tactics and expressing my feelings in response to it isn’t the start of a petty war. She laughs and nods. I laugh and nod too.
It’s the start of self awareness in breaking a cycle, and she gets what I’m trying to do and respects it.
Often she forgets, because old habits die hard, but it’s getting better
It’s the words you chose to describe your relationship here with her that I’m picking up on.
Like this would be so deeply unsettling for me to hear from a family member after I’ve cooked for them. I would be so upset.
You think your mom thinks the worst of you for no reason.
These statements made me react that way, it sounds so unhealthy and I am sorry your relationship with her is like this.
No worries at all, my relationship with her is pretty good. I guess you have to know someone before you pass judgement on them. I was giving an instance of one of the few negative behaviours of hers. She has overwhelmingly many positive ones.
That’s good to hear :)
You sound like a sealion. Stop being a dick.
I’m literally talking about the subject at hand. You’re not using that term correctly.