Me and my SO are both adults and yes we communicate about household chores. Crazy concept right?
Sometimes she’s busy and asks if I could do the dishes. Sometimes it’s the other way around.
Of course most of the time we both simply take care of chores when they need to be done. But we don’t have assigned tasks in the household: we both cook, clean, do laundry, etc. And sometimes we communicate about who does what.
Dishes are a unique kind of chore, with a huge possibility for resentment, not just a “shared chore”. Most who have lived long term with another knows how it goes
The mess is in a (usually) small living space (kitchen). You can’t really avoid the dishes or work around them. Dishes make it very frustrating to work in that environment
At a certain point it becomes impossible to prepare new food to eat; it’s not something you can put off forever, it has a strict time limit
Dirty dishes are really gross, both visually and olfactorily, and attract pests
Other people’s mess directly affects your life and health in a very real way
The longer you leave it, the harder it is to clean
Often, one person has a different standard of “clean” than the other; they might not even realise there is a problem
This can lead to controlling or other toxic behaviour
That’s why what usually ends up happening is some combination of these:
Frequent commands (increasingly not-gentle reminders) to clean up
One person does all the dishes forever, constantly, becoming a taken-for-granted dish slave until burnout (this was me with my ex)
Frequent “discussions” about the state of cleanliness
No matter which side of the interaction you’re on, you’re likely to encounter resentment. Either for being constantly nagged about something you don’t see as a big deal, or annoyance because you forgot just a few times and feel undeserved scrutiny, or frustration because the other person never cleans at all
Compare this to, say; taking the trash out, laundry, or tending the plants. It’s not even close in terms of how much another’s actions impact your physical or mental health
Personally it is me overcoming my ADHD hurdles to do a thing and then being reminded that I always forget to do things. Like I am fucking doing it right now so telling me to do the thing I am doing is like being told I forgot something, which is the most frustrating feeling for me.
Yes, it is fucking annoying when my wife hollers from the other room to do the thing I am currently doing because she assumed I wasn’t. Maybe she should do the things she is supposed to do but forgets, but I don’t bug her about it because I know how annoying it is.
Also, making it a gendered issue is pretty sexist of you. A boss of either gender telling me to do the thing I’m already doing is frustrating too.
That’s a lot of words for how you resent your wife.
So yeah, I guess it is relatable to people who still have their mothers and wives tell them to do household chores.
Eh I used mothers and wives because I am a mother and wife. Nothing to do with sexism, everything to do with relating it to the types of people in my life that refuse to pitch in on shared household responsibilities.
I’m talking specifically about household chores as pictured in the comic.
I struggle with ADHD as well, but someone has to get shit done around the house regardless of my executive dysfunction. Blaming it on others is immature at best.
Wow, this is an incredibly sexist comment about a genderless comic. From experience, when I walk up to the sink and start doing the dishes, and then my SO walks up and asks me to do the dishes (which has happened a number of times) I think they’re being unobservant and controlling and I feel unappreciated. That’s what this comment is about, lady.
Perhaps these mothers and wives should have some respect for others doing things their own way and at their own pace? They can not expect others to be exactly like themselves.
Sometimes I forget how young the user base is here.
I’m almost 50 and this comic is very relatable.
Is it relatable to people who still have their mothers and wives tell them to do the dishes?
Who here isn’t just doing their own dishes because they’re adults? You getting mad at your roommates or something for shared chores?
Me and my SO are both adults and yes we communicate about household chores. Crazy concept right?
Sometimes she’s busy and asks if I could do the dishes. Sometimes it’s the other way around.
Of course most of the time we both simply take care of chores when they need to be done. But we don’t have assigned tasks in the household: we both cook, clean, do laundry, etc. And sometimes we communicate about who does what.
…yeah that’s how it’s supposed to work.
Getting resentful and refusing to do a chore out of spite because your partner asked is the unhealthy part I was referencing.
Your problem here is that you think this feeling is a choice, velma. It’s not a choice. They’re not deciding that they don’t want to do the dishes.
In fact, quite often, because we are indeed adults, we will still do the dishes, because they need doing, even though it’s really hard to do them now!
So stop being mad at people for the feelings they have, and start listening to them!
Dishes are a unique kind of chore, with a huge possibility for resentment, not just a “shared chore”. Most who have lived long term with another knows how it goes
That’s why what usually ends up happening is some combination of these:
No matter which side of the interaction you’re on, you’re likely to encounter resentment. Either for being constantly nagged about something you don’t see as a big deal, or annoyance because you forgot just a few times and feel undeserved scrutiny, or frustration because the other person never cleans at all
Compare this to, say; taking the trash out, laundry, or tending the plants. It’s not even close in terms of how much another’s actions impact your physical or mental health
Personally it is me overcoming my ADHD hurdles to do a thing and then being reminded that I always forget to do things. Like I am fucking doing it right now so telling me to do the thing I am doing is like being told I forgot something, which is the most frustrating feeling for me.
Yes, it is fucking annoying when my wife hollers from the other room to do the thing I am currently doing because she assumed I wasn’t. Maybe she should do the things she is supposed to do but forgets, but I don’t bug her about it because I know how annoying it is.
Also, making it a gendered issue is pretty sexist of you. A boss of either gender telling me to do the thing I’m already doing is frustrating too.
That’s a lot of words for how you resent your wife.
So yeah, I guess it is relatable to people who still have their mothers and wives tell them to do household chores.
Eh I used mothers and wives because I am a mother and wife. Nothing to do with sexism, everything to do with relating it to the types of people in my life that refuse to pitch in on shared household responsibilities.
Can you throw around a few more sexist stereotypes? I don’t think you have embarrssed yourself enough yet.
It isn’t just about dishes and chores, jesus christ. Go back and read my edit.
She’s a known sexist. Basically all her posts are like this.
I’m talking specifically about household chores as pictured in the comic.
I struggle with ADHD as well, but someone has to get shit done around the house regardless of my executive dysfunction. Blaming it on others is immature at best.
I’m saying it is NOT just about household chores and it isn’t about blaming anyone.
I mean, the comic is literally placing blame on the person requesting the chore get done instead of the person refusing to do the chore, but ok.
Wow, this is an incredibly sexist comment about a genderless comic. From experience, when I walk up to the sink and start doing the dishes, and then my SO walks up and asks me to do the dishes (which has happened a number of times) I think they’re being unobservant and controlling and I feel unappreciated. That’s what this comment is about, lady.
Jesus Christ. Good luck with everything.
Perhaps these mothers and wives should have some respect for others doing things their own way and at their own pace? They can not expect others to be exactly like themselves.