Mitch McConnell has been making phone calls from his hospital bed to Republican allies to dispel internet rumors that he’s “brain dead”
Sorry, Mitch. It’s gonna take more than a phone call to reverse decades of your policies.
deleted by creator
Ding Dong the Mitch is dead.
Which old Mitch?
The Wicked Mitch!
Ding Dong the Bitch is dead.
Too bad the rancid fucker completed his goals before shuffling off the coil, 20+ years ago would have been more ideal
Turtles can be extremely long-lived
“Rigor Tortoise”
This fucking ghoul has been dead inside for decades.
There’s no ghost in that shell, that’s for sure
Moscow Mitch is also in flames?
Is dead the same as resign? I have $5 of payout I could really use
YES!
Wikipedia still says “is” so he’s still alive.
wait for it…
Don’t give me false hope OP
NY Post just run a story saying Glitch called the same people who have already claimed without any evidence to have spoken with him in the time since June 14th.
He’s definitely fucking dead.
This snippet from Daily Beast is pretty hilarious as well:
When the news came out last week about him being in cardiac arrest and having EMS administer CPR, the source I read had John Thune saying he’d talked to McConnell the following morning and McConnell “sounded good,” all that shit.
No, lol. 84-year-olds who have had EMS pounding on their frail ribcages do NOT in fact “sound good” after that, as a rule. That’s when I knew McConnell was dead or dying.
Doesn’t matter. This old fart remembers the completely worthless sigh of relief we all breathed when Jessie Helms died, and how that didn’t matter one goddamn bit and how things have gotten progressively worse regardless.
There will always be some right wing stick in the mud permanently wedged in the senate representing the turgid bigoted shitbags among us. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Another old fart here. Yeah, I remember it too. That motherfucker. If it involved human rights of any kind, he was fully against it. And I’m still fucking salty about all that hateful “AIDS quarantine” shit that rolled out of his mouth.
But I temporarily lived in his district for a time right before his retirement, when he was visibly going downhill, and even then local people revered him. This is not an exaggeration. I didn’t get it until somebody explained it to me.
Simply put, Jesse Helms – and Strom Thurmond too, come to think of it – took constituent services to a very quietly insane level. The number of people I personally met who were like, “Yeah, so-and-so had this problem, Senator Helms took care of it, we’ll always be grateful,” would blow your mind. EVERYBODY had either had his office help them personally, or knew someone who had.
That’s why the rural folks who literally believe that someone like Trump personally cares about them can still think that: this is what they’ve lived with. Someone like Jesse Helms who was a snake in a skin suit but if you called his office, he took care of you and you gave him your undying, eternal allegiance.
That actually gives me a tiny bit of hope, because it’s only the much older legislators that do anything like that kind of constituent services now. The new ones are just riding on their fumes, and even those are running out.
The pale man kicked the bucket?
There are conspiracy theories that he is brain dead, but that his aides will delay announcing it until after a certain date has passed. We know he was found unconscious at his home, and received CPR on the way to the hospital. And he hasn’t been in contact with anyone except his aides since.
Statistically, his odds of waking up after receiving CPR are pretty abysmal. His aides have been extremely cagey about it, and all the signs of them pulling a Weekend At Bernie’s scenario are present. Basically, his aides all say he is recovering well, but they refuse to let anyone else see him or interact with him in any way. So we simply have to take those aides at their word.
But notably, Kentucky has a law where the governor (a Democrat) can appoint someone to the seat if Mitch dies… That would give democrats the majority. But the governor can only make an appointment if Mitch’s death happens at least 90 days before an election. After that 90 day mark, the governor can’t appoint anyone, and has to wait for the election.
Kentucky’s next general election happens on November 3, meaning the 90 day mark is August 5, only a month away. So the conspiracy is that they’ll keep him on life support (and hidden from the press) until August, so they can wait until the 3 month deadline has passed. And then they’ll mournfully announce his passing, but oh oops it’s too late to appoint a democrat to his seat.
Afaik (my source - a David Pakman video about the topic. IANAL nor have I read the law.)
The law in Kentucky isn’t that the governor can appoint a senator, it’s that a special election must be held if it’s within 3 months of a General.
That is mostly correct. Most states have the governor appoint replacements to vacant seats, but McConnell himself got that law changed in Kentucky in 2024. Now, in Kentucky, a vacancy triggers a special election UNLESS it is within three months of a general election, which in Kentucky is the first Tuesday in August, which is why there is now suspicion that Republicans will try to hide the true nature of McConnell’s condition until after the August deadline.
I just wrote a longer comment elsewhere more fully explaining the situation: it’s complex, and the Kentucky law is itself badly written apparently, so no one is even very certain if it’s (state) constitutionally valid.
Fixed my comment, thank you
That is what I originally meant, but I appreciate the extra info!
Fuckin hell, these cockroaches will find any way to rig shit
Yes. Yes, they do.
How in the fuck is this kind of fuckery legal?
Bye turtle man
This kills the turtle
