honkmimimimaxxing and snorepilled

This was fun.

I tried slipping into my neighbour’s pet turtle’s gynecologist’s DMs and she gave me the same excuses. I was pretty upset so I covered my hands in corn starch and clapped them on my wiener until I had a good amount of pain. I then cried myself to sleep and woke up the next day to my neighbour’s pet turtle knocking on my bedroom window. He wanted to let me know that he was dropping her as his gynecologist because he’s not even a female turtle and she’s just some weird lady who hangs out at the bus station. So I went down to the bus station and confronted her, we ended up hitting it off and now we’ve been married for 52 years.