Mine is evaluated based on how many of them were there for me when I was at my lowest. It’d be unfair for me to evaluate them based on communication, because then that’d mean that everyone would be gone, so that’d be unfair. I also don’t think evaluating people based on what they gift you or do for you is adequate either. So, yeah, I think the clear line basis of me removing a friend is about sheer balance.
I don’t like friendships that are just unrealistic. Where they want only and nothing but the best from you and for you. Friendships are about enduring someone’s worst and figuring it through too. If you just push someone away all of the time and leave them in dormancy where their mind tends to wander into places it shouldn’t. That’s one of the worst things a friend can do and it can also include up to things like not talking to them just for a check up every now and then.
So again, if more friends have let me down or dropping the ball, then that’s probably my reason.
I had a kid I met when I was homeless for a while. He was a regular fixture in my life and a ton of fun to be around. But about 5 years later he had his wife and a girlfriend pregnant at the same time. He already had two children with the wife (and when the first one came along when they were dating I had told him “Don’t get her pregnant”), couldn’t hold a steady job, possibly had other iligitimate children, and was living in a crappy nasty motel but he had a game console (can’t remember if it was a PS3 or Xbox 360) and a TV to game on so he didn’t care.
I told him I couldn’t have that in my life anymore, every time something went wrong he would do something stupid. Last I heard the girlfriend was going to move back to get family in Florida, he ended up going who knows where for a while then ended up back in town for a little bit around the time I was moving away. The wife had family there so is likely still in town. I kinda Facebook stalked him a couple months ago (through my other half as I don’t actually use Facebook) and found he is likely living in Georgia and working for a traveling carnival.
He was probably the last person I knew and called a friend. It’s been a little over 15 years.