People won’t know where the message comes from, they’ll just hear your voice as though you were standing next to them. Everyone hears it at the same time. The message is not translated into anyone’s native language, everyone hears it exactly as you say it. The maximum length is 6 of your breaths.
“Finally, I’ve done it, I’ve created the first step of human instrumentality”
“Er, excuse me, everyone… is this… is this thing on? Can they hear me? Can they?”
It feels awesome as a man to get your prostate massaged. Try it!
Please listen carefully to the following broadcast. Your survival depends on it. Do not, under any circumstances broadcast ends suddenly
“3… 2… 1… FIGHT!”
I’d say “You have all disappointed me.”
Hello World.
People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.
I don’t see why you’re acting so supised, the plans have been on display at your local galactic planning office for 300 years.
There’s no point acting all surprised about it. The plans and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning office in Alpha Centauri for over 50 of your Earth years. If you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout.
I don’t know, apathetic bloody planet, I’ve no sympathy at all.
Thank you for this 😂❤️
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.
On a very full breath, I can do the “badger badger badger badger bager badger badger badger mushroom mushroom” like barely 3 times. So I would get that out like 18 times. My hope would be to cause a worlwide earworm with that terrible song.
It’s either I do that, or cause a worldwide rickroll without the backing track. See how far I can go.
So you’re not gonna go for baby shark?
Maybe if it was before it blew up and became what it is now. I remember when it was just a dumb camp song, similar to the moose who likes to drink his apple juice. Glad that hasn’t surfaced much in relevancy.
Edit:
Turns out the version of that moose song I remember is a different version of the song…
The song is about drinking a lot of juice, but the version we had replaced it with apple juice for some reason.
“Why do we have to suck like this? Can’t we just stop the bullshit and realize who our real enemies are?”
bound to be misunderstood, the message is way too vague
seems fairly clear that it’s message is to start a war
THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE MYSTERONS!..
"This is God. Quit it with the killing each other and ruining the environment I made for you.
Don’t make me come down there."
Mormons: See! God speaks English! It means only our book is correct!
Be excellent to eachother, and party on dudes.
I came here to comment exactly this.
I think you need a hyphen between “party” and “on.”
You can’t hear hyphens
Fine. You can party on dudes if you want.
We can leave your dudes behind
Cause your dudes don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, well then they’re no friends of mine
No dudes of mine
I’m not sure I could get it out in 6 breaths but I’d try to read a great little piece:
"The Pale Blue Dot of Earth.
Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there–on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.
Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.
It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known."
— Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994
If you want to hear this moving quote in Carl Sagan’s own voice (I recommend it):
