Nice (/s)

I just want to say I’m so happy to have been a part of getting JD Vance recognized as a couch fucker.

I remember the day the original post was made. And to this day there is no evidence JD Vance hasn’t fucked a couch.

So this brings up a funny story.

IDK when, but I was on a trip, thinking about my ex wife(then girlfriend at the time) with my parents somewhere and they had these vibrating back massager things. Usually they’re like 4 wooden balls on sticks attached to a wooden handle. I knew how much my ex loved it. Anyway I thought “dude fucking brilliant” and I bought it for her and my parents were like: “Uh, ok? You sure she’s going to like that?” “I’m like are you kidding me? The number of times I have to get sore hands from giving her a back massage is incredible!” Oh, I’m like 15 at the time.

Well, I gift it to her, and with the smallest hint of embarrassment says she absolutely loves it. That night she thanks me again, saying it made things so much easier, in kind of a flirty tone. I completely miss all social cues always so this didn’t register. Sometime later I come over and she wants one of the back rubs, and I’m like “hey, grab that tool I got!”

She responds with “I’m not in the mood for that, besides it’s out of batteries.”

I thought I was going to fold into myself. “How many back rubs have you given yourself?” “Oh, like none. Just the fun stuff.” The heaviest levels of cringe hit, knowing how many people saw me buying this for my girlfriend completely oblivious to what it would be used for.

This defeats the entire purpose of me having android

Like I’m just going to switch to an iPhone now. Not because Apple is any better, but because I have more family with them.

They took away our SD cards, they took away our removable batteries, they took away our headphone jacks. Now they’re taking away side loading apps, and that’s it. I’m done. The death of android.

Look there are two kinds of people with breaking bad.

Those who loved it, and those who haven’t watched much or any of it.

My ex got me into it, and she’s kind of… Well, shes not brilliant. So I didn’t take her recommendations too seriously most of the time (I really don’t enjoy Teen Mom or 90 day fiance or 600lb life). But this? This show hooked me. It takes quite a few liberties with the sciency bits and lawyer bits, but it’s fun even with a bit of knowledge cause it starts with something being “technically correct.” It’s well written more than anything.

Bro. I am gonna be real with you.

I was in an abusive relationship too. She cheated on me at 30 and blamed me. I am not going to sugar coat this.

It will fuck you up for a great long while. This all happened to me in 2020. I’ve been through intensive outpatient therapy. I’ve lost 100 lbs.

It still hurts when it comes to me. You are grieving. This ain’t depression. 40% of men who experience an unfaithful long term marriage commit suicide. You are heartbroken. You are realizing this ain’t you.

It will get better. Little by little. And I still have a long ass ways to go. I’m not even officially divorced yet.

I’m not going to give you advice, because the only thing I understand, is that I finally found me again, and I like that dude a hell of a lot more than I like who I was with my ex.

But it’s going to suck the entire time. The entire 5 years has sucked. But I finally see a light. There is a pinprick of light. I’m heading towards it. You can’t see it yet. I understand. But it’s there.

The revolution will not be televised.

Well shit. I didn’t think it would work, but I had to try anyway