Oh, I’m not active like that anymore. I’m much too old, fat, and ugly to spontaneously pull 12 random strippers at closing time on Key West now. Hahaha

But honestly, things are much easier and simpler now. I like the monogamy thing nowadays

Remember, people, the economy depends on you. It is important to be responsible, and to #ActYourWage

Not familiar with the name, so I googled. I knew Stacy’s Mom, but not his name. He also wrote just about every one of my favorite songs from the show! Such a shame he passed so young

Aw, damn. I’m sorry to hear that. Stay safe out there, friend <3

It’s one of my favorites. Took me forever to give it a shot. I didn’t think a musical to stand up to multiple episodes, much less seasons, but it’s good. First Penis I Ever Saw absolutely slaps. Anything from Paula, really

the math of love triangles is often quite useful in life

When we throw trains into the mix it gets even more complicated

I had 12 once, it was a lot of fun, but quite disorderly and took days to recover from. 9/10, would recommend

Having done the moshpit thing, I’d like to try the train some day

I think all gang bangs are orgies, but not all orgies are gang bangs

My mom had us eat by making food an exciting event. We often had new foods, got to try new things, and overall made it very game like. “Tonight we’re going to try Swiss chard! I’m so excited! I wonder if it will be good or yucky?”

And then also told us that taste buds change all the time, and that by 7 years every taste bud has changed out. So two things that taught us: you will like different things as you age, sometimes disliking things you used to enjoy, sometimes loving things you used to hate. And that you never know when that individual taste bud will change that makes you suddenly like a new thing. So try stuff often and you’ll end up enjoying new things.

As a result, we were the only 5 year olds in our neighborhood that fucking loved liver and onions

When I was like 15-16 I was riding in my buddy’s car and he asked our other friend to pump gas. When he got back in he kept complaining about smelling gasoline, and kept saying dude had gotten it on his hands. He was being a real dick about it, so when he wasn’t looking dude reached down and fondled his nuts and when he kept on dude was like “dude, smell my hand! It’s fine!” And he did. And the entire group of us lost our shit it was so funny. Except for the driver, who was pissed. But, like 2 weeks before that the driver had walked up behind the same guy while he was sitting and just flopped his super long dick on his shoulder through his fly, so, like, he set the tone of the friendship with that shit.

I prefer “peeper.” As in “Doc, my peeper is leaking that bright purple fluid again, can you get the mallet?”

Idk, man, depends on the bags, but I love getting the flesh purse dangled into my enamal-bladed bear trap sometimes

My boyfriend once got lock jaw while giving head to his ex. He got it out, but it was tight and it scratch up his dick pretty good from what I understand. Bf had to go to urgent care because his jaw was stuck mid blowjob for over an hour. They told the doc he had been eating a sandwich when it happened.

The funny part, though, is that they were hosting family for a weekend, and had snuck off for a mid day quickie when it happened lmao

Thank you so much! I was just trying to tell a friend about one of my favorite webcomics from years ago, but it’s been so long that I had completely forgotten the name, and could only describe it as “basically it’s like if the flag balls were people, and it’s set in Europe, but I can’t remember where”

First time I ever found out some guys couldn’t do that was wild. He was so fucking fascinated by my bobbling bell end it was wild lol

I want to continue the joke, but honestly, that was the best reply possible and there is no way to top it

He’s such a good boy. He was my mom’s favorite child, she was his human. I’m the spare. Haha. When she passed last year, I didn’t think he’d make it, but honestly, he’s gotten me through this last year.

I’m not joking when I say this little boy is getting a quinceañero. He’s gonna have a frickin’ party

Fellow member of the Church of the Holy Weiner, I see! Salutations and glory to the Almighty Long Ones!