You asked a question and answered it yourself?

I posted the 10 points according to one source and then said

There are many varied but similar versions of these points circulating elsewhere

yep

for one thing, you’re in a country where this once happened 🤦

I am a white European Spanish woman

Race is a social construct and in the eyes of your friend’s racist dad you are apparently not white (even if he might have classified you as white if he had only your appearance to go by and hadn’t seen your name).

did an LLM get involved in your dictionary somehow? (why are four of these six definitions very minor rephrasings of each other?)

Fwiw, the American Heritage Dictionary has only one definition; the other two are in wiktionary (which has citations for both).

Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?

to all five of your questions: yes

what happened next? (do the terms actually allow you to cancel it immediately for no cost, or is their $10-per-month-for-nothing offer an alternative to paying a cancellation fee?)