I’d bet it’s just further self-censoring for fear of being unalived.

I mean, that’s high praise for a vacuum. I would be more concerned if it didn’t.

They’ve actually achieved a higher state of enlightenment by using the superior duodecimal system (a.k.a. base 12).

Gosh dang, I was trying to make that a joke but yours is better than anything I thought of.

Christian
In
Name
Only

Not sure how much legality matters anymore, “normalize” or “desensitize” might be better words here. Ugh. I hate that’s an actual sentence I just typed. And to think there are certainly alternate timelines unimaginably worse than this. My heart breaks for alternate me. 😑

OOHHH very true, didn’t think of that. I’ll definitely try to be more considerate next time.

Not a big enough company for the owners to have vacation homes (only like 8 people so they were still very involved in the day-to-day), but one of them was talking about upgrading their riding mower a lot at the time. They were going to spend like 9 grand to cut their mowing time from 3 hours to 1 hour 45 minutes. All I could think was “lol, why not just restore most of that grass to native grassland and never think about it again?”

If I had the perspective then that I do now, I probably would have at least tried to do similar. At the time though I thought it was my dream job and blamed myself for feeling like I wasn’t meeting expectations. My crippling social anxiety (also just depression?) making it darn near impossible to ask for help… well, that didn’t help either.

The funny(?) thing is it was a small company of like 8 people total including the brothers that founded and own it. They’re not mean or totally heartless people either, the owners just don’t have good business sense.

I did my summer internship there during college a couple years earlier and thought everything went fine, but when they let me go they mentioned out of nowhere that “we had a similar concern while you were interning” even though I don’t recall them ever bringing that up with me prior to that very moment. Just weaseling for any justification they could think of for what they knew was a terrible miscalculation on their part, methinks. Oh well, it only put a minor dent in my self-esteem… 😅😑

For real. My last job essentially let me go because my being depressed meant they weren’t confident I could handle the workload of 2.5 people. Of course, they made that out to be my fault. Thanks guys, I’m worse now.

Slopturding

or

Turdturfing

Ah yes, good ol’ absurdism.

I think you may feel more at home in Non-Political Comics then. (Tbh I understand, sometimes I have to live over there for a few days. No need to be rude about it though.)

To commandeer their superior grammatical sensibilities?