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Cake day: March 28th, 2025

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  • My first job was working at an office supply store in the late 1900’s. I was 15 and wanted money to buy a box of magic cards (4th edition)

    So my punk rock homie got me a gig there.

    On my first day I was like where is B? He got me the job I wanna go goof off with him and throw things in the bailer. They’re like “oh no. b quit today. He walked into the store managers office while he was meeting with the regional manager for his monthly visit and flipped him off and told him ‘fuck you I quit!’”

    A month later I played a show on a Saturday and got paid like $100 and was like wow this is cool.

    Went to work in the morning and the store managers like “go grab some paper towels from the back”

    I’m like ok and do his bidding carrying like 10 rolls of paper towels under my arms.

    Dude starts screaming at me. I’m like dude I have $100 wtf is this.

    So I’m like gonna quit but my teammate who was cool is in pain from some sports injury and he’s like “just wait until lunchtime and another guy comes in so I don’t have to climb ladders and shit”

    Ok I don’t wanna leave my new homie in the lurch.

    So lunchtime comes and the third guy shows up.

    I punch out. Walk to the store managers office and knock on the window.

    He’s in a meeting with the regional manager. I flip him off and say “fuck you i quit”

    Now I’m not sure that happened a lot. But it happened twice in a row. During the same monthly visit with his boss.

    Worst part I had to get my last check and was so nervous I waited til like six and brought a Wookiee sized punk with me. Just in case.

    Then I bought Lagwagon double plaidinum and no use for a name making friends at the cool record store.