I wanna gag-a-lag on that gangalang hog

Can confirm - I also have sleepovers with this person’s wife.

“My daughter tried using this in her Bad Dragon donkey-sized dildo and made a huge mess. She was so embarrassed that she tried to clean it up herself and missed a bunch of spots. The damn house still smells like a cheesemonger’s stale fart from where this milk seeped into the corners of the carpet. Worked great though, looked just like cum. 4/5 stars.”

Laugh out loud, lol.

Yeah, but I brag so much about my high that I don’t even need to count about it!

My IQ is so much higher than yours that I can’t even count it, and I also don’t need to brag about it.

Why are these always reserved for someone’s mother? Why can’t they save some for the rest of us :(

Split-me-like-a-log-daddy-eep

All these other shit-for-brains got it wrong. Here’s what you do:

1. Find a woman your own age, pervert
2. Have her go through EXTENSIVE cosmetic surgery to become a replica of your current wife
3. Have newbie secretly follow your wife until she learns every habit, nuance, and personality trait
4. I’ll leave the uglier details of this step to your own imagination
5. Pretend newbie has been your appropriately aged wife the whole time
6. Send us some feet pics of those juicy things you’ve got tucked away in your socks (this step is optional)

God this is my heaven

“…whose only ideals are personal gain.” I think you’re describing every billionaire, no?

What’s disgusting about having hundreds of partners?

The moon is made of cheese and, like all cheeses, emits light under a low enough temperate (space is so cold it doesn’t even have a temperature - it’s just “cold”). The REAL mindbender, is why the space dust particles make the light all bright instead of dirty yellow, like how i like my cheese

Is it a doctorate in pogonotomia?

But less funny if a national epidemic of bonerspurs happened

Hahahahaha. That’s the fun part - we don’t!

You hold him down and I’ll hit 'em with the dildo bat

I’m a simple man… I see a cat and I pet it. This makes the brain produce the happy juice.

I’d say Ursula fucker her harder with that contract