Being loved isn’t what should drive you. Your love for something or someone should be.
External validation is always nice, but you should be able to function without it. If you don’t, then you have a truly uphill battle in front of you if being loved is your end goal.
validation and love are not the same things, but commonly mistaken especially in the attention economy where people are seeking validation above all else.
a lot of folks are so obsessed with external validation they are not capable of love anyway.
Yes and no, I’d say. I think it’s healthiest for everyone to find their own personal drive beyond what other people see in them. It’s good to cultivate relationships that provide validation, but dangerous to be wholly dependent on them. When you lose that connection, you lose purpose, as OP seems to have.
I think if you expect to be able to function without relationships which affirm who you are then you’re in for an uphill battle.
And yet, this is exactly what many of us are doing. It’s really not that bad.
Obviously it would be preferable to have mutually understanding/respectful relationships, but that’s not really how my life has turned out, so… just gotta keep on doing my thing, I guess.
Being loved isn’t what should drive you. Your love for something or someone should be.
External validation is always nice, but you should be able to function without it. If you don’t, then you have a truly uphill battle in front of you if being loved is your end goal.
validation and love are not the same things, but commonly mistaken especially in the attention economy where people are seeking validation above all else.
a lot of folks are so obsessed with external validation they are not capable of love anyway.
I think if you expect to be able to function without relationships which affirm who you are then you’re in for an uphill battle.
Humans need each other. For so many things including validation, though the word means different things to different people.
Yes and no, I’d say. I think it’s healthiest for everyone to find their own personal drive beyond what other people see in them. It’s good to cultivate relationships that provide validation, but dangerous to be wholly dependent on them. When you lose that connection, you lose purpose, as OP seems to have.
Of course. Independence can not be fostered by dependence, either on ourselves or others.
Where I suspect OP is going to struggle is everyone telling them to find what they need inside isn’t going to make sense to them.
If they’ve never felt that external love and validation they’re not going to find it in themselves. We learn and grow up by watching others.
Monkey see, monkey do applies to relationships, including those with ourselves.
And yet, this is exactly what many of us are doing. It’s really not that bad.
Obviously it would be preferable to have mutually understanding/respectful relationships, but that’s not really how my life has turned out, so… just gotta keep on doing my thing, I guess.
Comes with a price.
Speaking generally, as I don’t know you, most isolated people have a desire, drive or yearning for connection.
Its a feature of the species, baring the rare exceptions that prove the rule.