My last 2 weeks have been a bit rough:
first there was an insurance issue I am still dealing with because my employer failed to submit relevant information on time. Payment will be effective only after employer submits correct information.
Then my employer claimed that someone had seen me using my cell phone while at work (theoretically, that’s not allowed, but everyone checks the time now and then, and normally it doesn’t affect the quality of the work). They claimed this happened eight weeks ago. I simply replied that I couldn’t remember anything like that.
This week I received a ticket from the transportation authority, where they claim I boarded a ship without a valid ticket, something I am appealing. I’ve never done this before but my friends are helping me. It’s not so much about the amount as it is about the feeling of being trampled on. I even showed the employee a copy of my ticket I had on my phone with my whole name, address and price I paid, but he ignored it. I already sent my side of the story to the authority and I’m waiting for an answer.
The thought of being forced to pay for a ticket I paid and showed as a copy of weighs heavily on me. I know I shouldn’t give it more importance that it deserves, but they way that employee treated me, the employee ignoring me, my explanations and the copy I had on my phone gives me an eerie feeling of injustice, that something is broken. I’ve been using that boat for 5 years and never had such an issue before.
If you are more resilient than me, how? I feel lost and as much as I’d like to forget about it I flash back to it, I cannot concentrate and I’m not sleeping very well.
I’d like to be stronger but I’m not.
OP being totally honest, it sounds like you need a new job. That’s two ridiculous strikes that make me wonder what else sucks at that job. After moving to a job in a professional and respectful atmosphere, I cant imagine ever wanting to go back to my old work that also used to do stress inducing things like what you mentioned. My anxiety levels went way down after finding a job that is a better fit for me.
Aside from that, on things like the ferry ticket just dig in. You have your copy of your ticket, screw that employee and who knows what they had going on, but youre in the right and this must be some sort of mistake. Take each day as it comes and try not to let it get you down by staying busy. Do you have time to indulge in hobbies or hang out with friends? I suggest you find something casual like a board gaming group if not so you have something to look forward to and interact with other people in each week. Volunteering is also good.
Last thing. You are anxious right now. This sounds dumb, but spend some time thinking of what you want your life to look like. Im talking down to the detail. Do you like where you live? Your salary? Your current physique? Do you want a pet?
Get crystal clear on your goals so you can picture them. You are far more likely to take action and achieve changes when you’ve spent the time to clarify what they are instead of just saying, “I am anxious and life is a lot for me.” I used to be that person. I still an sometimes depending on what life is tossing my way. But after changing my surroundings and the people I hang out with to uplifting folks, I am miles and away much more peaceful than I ever was before.
Good luck, you’ve got this.