Thank you so, so much. Especially for the offer to talk about this stuff. I’m dreading the upcoming summer holiday. My mother is in town for most of it, and she’s useless at any kind of control, routine, or discipline. Every time family stays with us it’s great - free childcare - but also, all routines and hard-won norms go out the window for at least a month after they’re long-gone.

Something I said to him last night after thinking about what you told me was explaining about how rules should be generalized. I told him “rules exist for reasons, and those reasons are the real rules.” I went through a few examples, and he seemed to vaguely get it. I know I’ll have to explain this again at least a few more times, but if I can get him pilled on the idea that rules have conceptual depth, maybe that will help him with compliance and masking somewhat. Have you ever tried anything like that? I feel like the more self-aware he is, the more he cooperates with measures taken to mitigate the things he’s not good at. He is a sweetheart, but that always shines through best when he feels like we’re on the same side.