Doesn’t have to be about over traumatic-related things, but just in general, things you don’t like talking about. Whether it’ll bum you down, distract you or vice versa.
I don’t like talking about work, my job and how the week went. All it’ll do and has done, is make me dread of upcoming work weeks even during my time off. I hate being asked the typical question “how was your day at work?” any other time. Because the answer is just going to be unsatisfying and I get annoyed even having to answer that question. It’s not that I’m hiding anything, it’s just that it’s fucking work and it is the same damn thing every night. I put up with stupid fucking people, even dumber co-workers and I work in a system that is massively ungrateful for what you do for it.
That’s all you’ll ever need to know about it, so stop trying to get me to talk about that shit.
I’m sick of listening to people complain about their lives. They hate their jobs, they hate their spouses, they hate their friends. They are unfulfilled and unhappy and IF ONLY THEY WERE RICH everything would be magically wonderful. The past few years, now everyone talks about how ‘oppressed’ they are because of their identity too. I’ve met so many single women doctors who just go on for an hour about how ‘oppressed’ they are because they only make $480K/yr instead of the 500K their married male colleague does… and how if only they made more they’d never have to fly coach again! Or how expensive and awful their kids private education is, or how their wife prevents them from buying that Raptor truck they really want, because some overpriced performance vehicle will magically fix their shitty lifestyle habits and social relationships…
Oh, and as a single white guy, they love to lecture me on how amazing and awesome and rich and perfect my life must be. Because apparently I have ‘no responsibilities lots of free time and money and freedom and can fuck whomever i want whenever i want’. Right…
Do they ever ask me how my life is? No, of course not. I’m just a placeholder for their weird escapist fantasy they have because they hate their own lives so much. And if I start mentioning any basic facts about my life, they think I’m whining or ‘bitter’ or something because my life is and was far less privileged than theirs.
This is like 90% of my dates, and other casual social interactions with new people. 10 years ago it wasn’t like this. People used to ask me questions and interact with me… now they just lecture me about how their life is terrible and mine is better than theirs and I’m a jerk because of it. I miss talking to people about books, or movies, or hobbies.
Hence I really have stopped going out and interacting with people like I used to. At least with my existing friends I can tell them about events in my life that are good or bad without them acting like I’m an asshole. The last date I went on I told my date about the book I was reading and she looked at me like I was a jerk and then immediately started complaining about how her ex read books and was a douchebag and she doesn’t like douchy people who read a lot…
I feel like people no longer interact generally. I notice even when I’m out and hearing other people’s conversations they sort or talk at each other in quips rather than actually acknowledge or exchange anything substantial. It’s been years since I’ve had like an actual conversation with a stranger that showed genuine interest.
the idiot complained…
ime, you got to do a bit of pre-filtering for common interests and shit, before deciding to socialize with people.
to me it sounds like your going to some upper-class urban bars (or going dating events…which imo are even worse than meeting people out in the wild) and naturally run into unawares people stuck in the capitalist rat-race, who you can’t relate to. could try going to smaller punk dive bars, or some kind of themed party-type bar.
or better yet to go to some less “mainstream” hobby-event, whatever that interest might be, atleast there you will have atleast 1 guaranteed interest to relate over that isnt just complaining about how much your life sucks (which seems to be a common thing at bars)
That’s every bar. Every hobby group. There are no people here who aren’t upper class.
Technically I am upper class too. I just wasn’t born into it, so I’m not a whiny bitch about my life. I think it’s great. I don’t think my life is a tragedy because I don’t own two vacation homes and a yacht.
I hate punks. Here they are all whiny entitled rich trust fund kids who think you’re a douche for having to work a job that pays a living wage while they cosplay as poor waiting for their trust funds to mature. They also love to lecture you about anarchism and how you are oppressed because you don’t have tattoos and piercings. I also hate punk music, it’s boring and whiny.
when it comes to bars, the best ones ime only open once a week or less (especially punk live music bars). a local dive bar that only opens once or twice a month will attract different crowd than some daily bar.
far as your “demographic” goes…where are you at if you don’t mind me asking? there’s always an underbelly of working stiffs in any area, rich people don’t clean their own toilets or prepare their own food…somebody in the area has to be working to maintain/service everything
dude none of that exists where i live. there are no dive bars. sounds like you live in some rustbelt place where rent is dirt cheap.
the working stiffs don’t live here. they commute to here from 2 hours away. they can’t afford the housing prices. they also think i’m a douchebag because I can afford the housing prices and I go to fancy douche bars. the bartenders and waitstaff all commute in from places 2 hours away. my dog walker commutes in from 2 hours away, etc.
and i’m not going to move 2 hours away. I love my job and I love being 15m from my office.
chicago
i’ve been there several times. i can buy a 6000sq ft mansion there with what i pay for a 2bed 600sq condo here.
then…why stay where you are? it doesn’t sound like your happy wherever you are
because i am happy here. I just don’t like the people.
my life is fantastic and I refuse to give it up just so I can have a better social life or get laid. my job is awesome, my condo is awesome, and I love being able to just walk/bike everywhere I need to go. I hate driving.